Keys to managing your pre-teen/teenager’s behaviour

 

listening

I thoroughly enjoyed the last session I did at Heathfield Community School, Taunton, when we looked at how to communicate with teenagers so teenagers will listen! We had a very helpful discussion and concluded that the next session should focus on managing behaviour. Therefore, the next 2 sessions will focus on the whole subject of managing your pre-teen/teenager’s behaviour.

Each session will focus on practical ideas and suggestions for making a difference at home.

Managing behaviour 1.  This session will include:

  • Planning for better behaviour
  • How we all have different styles of parenting and the impact these styles have on our children
  • It’s not what we say, it is how we say it!
  • Managing boundaries
  • Tips on improving consistency in terms of maintaining boundaries etc!

To book your place please go to:  https://managing-behaviour-session-1.eventbrite.co.uk

Monday 30 January, 6:30 PM-7:45 PM

Managing behaviour 2. This session will include:

  • The nagging index
  • Managing conflict
  • Negotiating with our teenagers
  • Finding the hidden goals behind behaviour
  • What are appropriate punishments & rewards and how you can use themt

To book your place please go to:  https://managing-behaviour-session-2.eventbrite.co.uk

There will also be opportunities for you to ask any questions you may have at both the sessions.

I look forward to seeing some of you at both of the sessions.

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Invitation for parents to workshop on “Understanding why teenagers behave the way they do!”

managing teenagersThe next workshop for parents whose children go to Heathfield School, Taunton is on Monday 26 September, 6:30 PM-7:45 PM.

At this session I will give you insights into why teenagers behave the way they do, the development of the teenage brain and an opportunity to ask any questions about parenting pre-teens and teenagers.

This talk is the first of monthly workshops we ran last year to support you in parenting your pre-teen/teenagers, the sessions were popular with parents, this is what some of the parents said about them:

  • It is very helpful in better understanding how the teenage mind works
  • Very worthwhile – would definitely recommend
  • Good to see we are not alone with our teenager issues

At the workshop, we will be asking you which areas of parenting you would like Ruth to cover over the coming months.  Last year parents asked her to run workshops on subjects like managing behaviour, building self-esteem, surviving homework, exams and the stressed teenager.

We want to make this a relaxing and enjoyable evening, it is your opportunity to find out more about teenagers, meet other parents and let us know which topics particularly interest you.

If you would like to come to book your place please go to:

http://understanding-why-teenagers-behave-the-way-they-do.eventbrite.co.uk

If you aren’t able to come but would like to know more about what we are planning to do, please complete the slip below and we will contact you.  The next workshop will be on Monday 19 October if you would like to put that in your diary.

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Why does my teenager never listen to me?!

listening

“Learn to listen to hear rather than listen to reply” Now, therein lies my problem, I am basically quite an impatient person and often interrupt conversations because I’m bored or want the person to get the point or, reluctantly admit, I want my input as my views are, of course, more important than theirs.

Listening is probably the most important and undervalued skill we have and one I struggle with daily.  Listening is about giving the person who is speaking your full attention, showing them with your body language that you are listening and empathising with that person.

How teenagers say things to their parents can be more important than what they say – frequently, it is the emotion the teenager is trying to communicate which we need to be listening out for but this is often hidden beneath a whole load of “stuff” i.e. attitude, hostility, negativity etc.

When my daughter was at her most difficult, the issue she was most upset about frequently wasn’t the issue that she was ranting about, it often went much deeper – often associated with rejection/feeling rubbish about herself and I had to learn to listen carefully so I could help her process what was actually going on.   So, as a parent of a teenager, don’t just listen, try to work out what is really going on and learn to listen behind the words – sometimes you need the skills of Poirot!

There is no quick fix for building a good relationship with your teenager – it takes time, effort and loads of patience but it is well worth the effort (although it may not always feel like it!) so next time your teenager wants to talk to you, try to listen beneath the words and work out what is really going on – be patient, try not to react to their attitude and immediately start giving them a solution just listen (and show you are listening!), empathise, say as little as possible and see what happens!

 

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Ideas for supporting your child as they move to Heathfield Community School

Heathfield community schoolIf had known then what I know now, the transition to Heathfield for my eldest daughter might have caused fewer anxious thoughts over the summer before she started.

My children have enjoyed Heathfield  ( it was a real surprise to me that children could actually enjoy going to school but they have and do!)  and the school wants to make the transition as smooth and straightforward as possible for your children who are going in September

Therefore, I am running session on Wednesday 6 July, 6:30 PM-7:30 PM, in the Staff Room for parents whose children are going in September, I will be covering:

•    Preparing for the move to Heathfield – the ups and downs!
•    Building new friendships
•    How you could help your child manage their worries/concerns
•    Surviving the first day…

This is what some parents said about the last workshop I ran:

•    Very worthwhile – would definitely recommend!
•    Good to see we are not alone with teenage issues!
•    Very helpful – like the rest, they are great!

You can book your place by clicking on the link below:

http://preparingforheathfield.eventbrite.co.uk

I look forward to seeing some of you 6 July

Ruth

 

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Managing your child’s behaviour workshop on Monday 23 May, 6.15pm to 7.45pm at Heathfield School

We have had to rearrange themanaging teenagers 2 managing behaviour sessions booked for April and May and combined them into this session which is open to all parents at Heathfield School as well as those parents whose children will be coming to Heathfield in September.

 

This session will be relaxed and informal with an opportunity for you to ask any questions you may have. It is ideal for parents with children/teenagers from 10y to 16yrs!

It will focus on the key’s to positively managing your child’s behaviour, including:

  • Different approaches to managing behaviour
  • Easy ways to maintain boundaries and be consistency
  • Alternatives for dealing with conflict and negotiating with your child
  • Tips to stop nagging!

After this session you will go away with practical ideas and suggestions.

You can book your place by going to:

http://keys-to-managing-your-childs-behaviour.eventbrite.co.uk

I look forward to seeing you.

Ruth

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Rearranged – Workshops on ‘Managing Behaviour’ in April & May

managing teenagers

The next 2 sessions at Heathfield School will focus on helping parents to manage their teenager’s behaviour:

Managing behaviour 1 on Monday 18 April, 6:15 PM-7:30 PM  (Please note this workshop has moved from 14 March)

This session will cover:
• Planning for better behaviour
• How we all have different styles of parenting and the impact these styles have on our teenagers
•Managing boundaries
• Tips on improving consistency in terms of maintaining boundaries etc!

To book your place go to: www.managing-behaviour-1.eventbrite.co.uk

Managing behaviour 2 on Monday 16 May, 6:15 PM-7:30 PM

This session will cover:
• The nagging index
• Managing conflict
• Negotiating with our teenagers
• Finding the hidden goals behind behaviour
• What are appropriate punishments & rewards

To book your place go to: www.managing-behaviour-2.eventbrite.co.uk

I look forward to seeing some of you at these sessions.

Ruth

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Surviving homework, revision, exams and the stressed teenager!

stress and teenagers

This next session for parents whose children go to Healthfield School will be on Monday 29 February 6:15PM- 8PM

*Please note that this session is slightly longer as we feel this topic is particularly important.

Surviving homework, revision, exams and the stressed teenager! This session aims to help you to support your pre-teen/teenager in the preparation for GCSEs/school exams and will cover:

• What is learning and what we can do to help them learn without knowing anything about the subject!
• Motivating your teenager, including finding the best way of working for your teenager
• Different styles of revision
• How you can help your teenager to manage their stress including an introduction to mindfulness
• The delicate subject of how to encourage your pre-teen/teenager to get enough sleep!

To book your place go to: http://www.survivinghomeworkandexams.eventbrite.co.uk

This will be followed by a session on Monday 14 March, 6:15 PM-7:30 PM which will be the first of 2 sessions on managing behaviour – these sessions are particularly practical and you will have the opportunity to ask any questions you may have on managing behaviour etc.

This session will include:
• Planning for better behaviour
• How we all have different styles of parenting and the impact these styles have on our children
• It’s not what, it’s the HOW!
• Successfully negotiating and managing boundaries
• Tips on improving consistency in terms of maintaining boundaries etc!

To book your place go to: http://www.managing-behaviour-1.eventbrite.co.uk

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Surviving Teenagers awarded national CANParent Quality Mark

Cllr Lawrence with Ruth James 06

Cllr Christine Lawrence, Chairman of Somerset County Council with Ruth James

Quality Marsk

 

 

 

I am delighted that I am now one of only 48 providers nationally to have achieved a new national CANParent Quality Mark for the workshops I develop and deliver for parents of teenagers.

Having 3 daughters between 13 and 20 I understand the pressures on families so make sure my workshops focus on helping parents to build resilient teenagers.

“I would like to congratulate Ruth on achieving the CANParent Quality Mark. I can see real benefits resulting from her work, understanding how to build more positive relationships between parents and their teenagers can only be a good thing for local families.” said Cllr Christine Lawrence, Chairman of Somerset County Council.

“We have been pleased with the feedback from parents about the difference Ruth’s workshops have made and we are looking forward to continuing with the workshops in September.” said Karl Husband, Assistant Head, Heathfield Community School.

“I love working with parents and hearing about the positive difference that coming along to one of my workshops can make in family relationships. With this Quality Mark parents can now be confident that my workshops will give them the right advice and support they need in parenting their teenagers.” said Ruth James, Director, Surviving Teenagers.

The CANParent Quality Mark is the only Quality Mark developed for the parenting sector by the parenting sector. It is only awarded to programmes and courses meeting the highest standards, it confirms Ruth’s Building Resilient Teenagers workshops meet the following standards:

  • The workshops can be relied on by parents to make a positive difference, is evidence based, and is monitored and evaluated to improve parent/child relationships.
  • Parents can rely on the integrity of this class provider, its professional conduct, competence, financial and governance systems, and data protection/confidentiality, to ensure suitability to deliver a class.
  • This workshops are recommended by other parents.
  • This workshops are responsive, warm and relational, engaging with parents and builds on these effective relationships to meet their needs.

 

 

 

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Is your child going to Heathfield Community School in September? If so, read on…

Heathfield community schoolI remember when my eldest daughter moved to Heathfield and if I had known then what I know now, we both would have spent a lot less time and energy worrying about the change over the summer.

Heathfield wants to help to make the change  as smooth and straightforward as possible   for both parents and children so they have invited me to run a session for parents on Monday 6 July, 6:30 PM-7:45 PM, in the Staff Room at Heathfield, in this session I will be covering:

  • What I wish I had known when my children started Heathfield
  • Preparing for the move to Heathfield and the ups and downs!
  • Building new friendships
  • How you could help your child manage their worries/concerns
  • There will be an opportunity for you to ask any questions you may have

This is what some parents said about the last workshop I ran in April:

  • Very worthwhile – would definitely recommend!
  • Good to see we are not alone with teenage issues!
  • Very helpful – like the rest, they are great!

You can book your place by clicking on the link below:

http://preparing-for-heathfield.eventbrite.co.uk

I look forward to seeing some of you 6 July.

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Thank you to Heathfield Community School and parents

Heathfield community school

I have thoroughly enjoyed working with Heathfield Community School over the last few months and meeting a number of parents. Since September we have had monthly sessions and talked about how to manage behaviour, talk so teenagers will listen and build their self-esteem.

 

Last Monday, we had over 40 parents for “Surviving revision, exams and the stressed teenager!”. This is what some of the parents said about the session:

  • This has been for me/my child’s needs the most informative session so far
  • I had heard such positive results from other parents who said they were really helpful and they are
  • It is an interesting reflection of what sometimes should be blindingly obvious, but isn’t when you are in the moment and heat of battle!
  • Definitely worth coming along, any help is valuable
  • I found this very helpful in finding out what other parents go through and their ways of coping

I will be running more sessions at Heathfield Community School starting on 22 September, more information to follow!

If you think your school might be interested in the running sessions for parents of teenagers, please contact me, Ruth James at survivingteenagers@gmail.com

 

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